Welcome to the Elite Suspension League

"Roll up, roll up . . . Make your picks at who will be suspended from this weekends games and for how long, get it right and win a cuddly toy. Guess the team that will be the first to report an opponents player and win a free go for the following week. That's right folks, this is the newest and most bizarre game at the carnival"

Or should that be the Circus that is the Elite Ice Hockey Suspension League.

Now let me remind you; I am well aware that I haven't seen any games up close and personal this season, heck I have only seen one game on the internet for that matter so maybe the league has changed, maybe everyone has turned into a bunch of psychotic raving lunatics intent on chopping each other down faster than a Brazilian rain forest until one man remains to claim all the glory. It kind of reminds you of that scene in slapshot where everyone is is brutally beating on one another and likely facing huge suspensions, one player remains on the bench keeping his nose clean, only to leave the bench and do some kind of ice dance while stripping off his equipment. It may appeal to the ladies in the stands but there is a scary theory . . . Could it really be happening?

Could the last man be Andre Payette who just this week told us to some effect that he has never raised his stick to anyone? Will he be that last man standing naked in the middle of a blood stained league with a smug look on his face that reads, "I told you so"? On a more worrying note if the EIHL handed out awards similar to the N.H.L. would Andre be a forerunner for the Lady Bing this season? After-all the bookies favorite heading into the season, Steve Thornton has already been handed a nine game ban. If anything, at least in Andre's own head he is worth of it.

(For those unaware, the Lady Bing is given annually to the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a hugh standard of playing ability.)

Fortunately these wild theories of a changed and more violent game die out when I talk to everyone that has been going to games.

"No, games this year have been like any other in the last lot of years. Just your standard opening three weeks of regular season hockey in the British Elite Hockey League", is the standard answer when I ask if the game has changed visibly?

O.k. So what is it? What is with these big suspensions that the league has been handing out like yummy hot cakes over the last week? I don't have the numbers, but I am willing to bet 100 quid (note the lack of a pound sign on the North American keyboard) that this season they have already broken the total number of games suspended by players for a season in history. No doubt about it. My money is on the table for that.

To me it seems the Elite Leauge has taken a leaf out of the N.H.L. play book from last season when they opened the year with some major record length suspensions. Unfortunately for the British League rosters are small, budgets are low and teams cannot afford to have a number of players out for a number of games that don't involve injury.

Yes I hear you say: "Well if they did the crime they deserve to serve the time". True. But I still wonder, if nothing in the way the game is being played has changed why the sudden big time suspensions. Unfortunately with the very first big suspensions handed to Kozak and Voth last week a president has been set and any infraction is going to have teams reporting one another in the hope of getting players suspended for forthcoming big games.

One conspiracy theory doing the rounds is that the Elite League are so worried about the current economic climate and the credit crunch that they figure by handing out wild suspensions and credit crunching the nuts of any player who picks up a 5 minute penalty in a game, is sure to have teams so up in arms that they will appeal. They can then overturn those appeals and a 2000 pounds fine sucked out of the team for appealing.

You can see it now.

"Yes boys, there is another two-thousand pounds into the coffers, that should pay the rent for another few months. Hell at this rate with the left overs we might even be able to have a real knees up at Christmas with an open bar".

Of course that -- I would assume and hope -- is a pile of nonsense. Dear me, sit back and think for a moment if that indeed was the madness behind the brains at the hub of our little league -- Cash in your chips immediately and head for the exit without stopping for a bathroom break.

One real reason for the sudden suspensions in comparison to prior years is the official video cameras now present at most of the arenas. It keeps everyone on their toes, or at least it will from now on in. Of all the suspensions handed out so far everyone, except for maybe Steve Thornton's, has sounded harsh. Each player, his coach, his fans have cried foul at the length of the suspensions. Yes I am all for punishing cheap, dirty infractions well outside the boundaries of fair play in the game, but in a lot of these incidents from what you read or see on video footage, halving the length of the bans would simply be a start in the right direction.

What ever happened to players policing the game?

That was one of the beauties about hockey. Teams had big pluggers who were looked upon as policemen, waiting and ready to hold anyone accountable who thought it wise to take a run at their star players. Would things have been fixed had an opposition enforcer came on and fought Voth later in the game? What if Payette had been allowed to throw a few punches Thornton's way to restore order and remind everyone that high sticking won't be tolerated and that a code exists? Or is that a part of the uniqueness of the game that is destined to history and memories?

If we have 10-15 game suspensions, who needs enforcers? If you brought the game from the 80's forward to today would Wayne Gretzky have needed a Dave Semenko when the fear of a huge ban hanging over someone's head was enough to deter them from trying to take a run at Gretz?

I know I'm being a little unfair here. You can intimidate without being brutally violent, that is very true, but it just seems like with every passing year the fine line between physical and violent becomes ever more hazy in the eyes of the league and the league without a doubt these days, is leaning heavily on one particular side of that line.

For better or worse?

More News

Live Scores

League Standings

full table >>

Giants' Stat Leaders

Site Search